diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'www/text.causal.agency')
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 | 48 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7 | 81 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7 | 165 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7 | 185 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7 | 62 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7 | 78 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/Makefile | 11 | ||||
-rw-r--r-- | www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh | 1 |
8 files changed, 610 insertions, 21 deletions
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 index 83fef1dd..052a4727 100644 --- a/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 @@ -27,6 +27,10 @@ Prices obviously change, by which I mean they inevitably go up, but I'm gonna give the amounts I paid in 2021\(en2022. +Also if you want more details +about any of this +please email me. +I will be happy to tell you all about it. . .Ss Medication I get HRT through @@ -65,21 +69,27 @@ for my current prescription on the public plan. . .Ss Hair removal -I've gotten laser hair removal treatments -at Dermamode with Audrey. -They're very nice there. -The initial consultation was over the phone. -I paid $1350 for 6 treatments, -in two installments -at the first and second appointments, -plus the ~$200 tax on that -before the first appointment, -I think. -It hasn't gone well for me so far, -but I'm hoping it will -now that my testosterone levels -have dropped. -I will report back. +I tried laser hair removal, +for longer than I should have. +It was a waste of time and money. +Do not believe any arguments about +its convenience over electrolysis. +. +.Pp +I've started getting electrolysis done +with Dimi. +Again, +feel free to email me for contact info. +He is very good and can do long sessions. +I really don't find it very painful, +which I think is partly my own pain tolerance +and partly good equipment and skill. +I've also found that taking acetaminophen beforehand +and dressing warmly to keep my body relaxed help. +I've paid $85 for hour-long sessions +and $160 for two-hour sessions. +I'm still early in treatment, +but I'm really happy with the results so far! . .Ss Sex & name change The form for this is @@ -101,7 +111,8 @@ so I made a donation to P10. . .Pp I paid $144 to file mine -but it's now $148. +but it's now FREE +the first time you do it. Also $17 to mail it. Surprisingly, I got an acknowledgment letter @@ -140,10 +151,7 @@ if I find one. Ok I know this isn't trans-specific but at least for me getting piercings was gender-affirming. -And I don't mean like -getting your ears pierced -is some kind of female rite of passage, -because that's not even what I got done. +Cuz I got nipple piercings lol. Anyway, I went to Mauve. They're super nice, diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7 new file mode 100644 index 00000000..1b15076a --- /dev/null +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7 @@ -0,0 +1,81 @@ +.Dd September 19, 2022 +.Dt APOLOGIES 7 +.Os "Causal Agency" +. +.Sh NAME +.Nm Apologies +.Nd making them +. +.Sh DESCRIPTION +Apologies are very important to me. +Unfortunately +I've only recently realized +how valuable they are. +I've tried to think about +what makes a good apology, +since it's not something +I was ever taught. +This is the advice +I came up with for myself, +on how to apologize. +. +.Bl -enum +.It +Make the apology. +This is the most important part. +If you feel guilty +for something you've done, +or think you might have hurt someone, +apologize. +Even if they don't need an apology, +saying sorry won't hurt. +And start with that. +Literally say +.Dq I'm sorry . +Sometimes people forget that. +.Pp +On the other side, +if you've been hurt by someone, +and you trust them, +let them know. +Give them a chance to apologize. +People don't always realize +they've made a mistake. +. +.It +Explain what you did wrong. +I think it's important +for the other person +to know you understand +how you've messed up. +Really think about this! +It's what will help you learn. +If you know you've hurt someone +but you're not sure why, +you can try asking them. +Take their answer seriously. +. +.It +Don't make excuses. +Do not talk about yourself. +Don't even mention +how you were feeling stressed that day, +or whatever. +It's not relevant. +We all make mistakes, +we all have bad days. +. +.It +Commit to doing better. +Try to learn from your mistakes. +Say it won't happen again. +Literally say +.Dq I won't do that again . +And then try your hardest to make that true. +An apology is a commitment, +not something you're done with +once you've said it. +.El +. +.Sh AUTHORS +.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7 new file mode 100644 index 00000000..c995de08 --- /dev/null +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7 @@ -0,0 +1,165 @@ +.Dd November 14, 2022 +.Dt SOUND-MEMORY 7 +.Os "Causal Agency" +. +.Sh NAME +.Nm Sound Memory +.Nd associations +. +.Sh DESCRIPTION +.Ss Talking Heads \(em "Remain In Light" +The first time I gave this album a serious listen +was when I was going for several-hour walks +at 4 in the morning in, +I think, +fall 2020. +I would stay up all night, +go out walking at 4am +for a couple hours, +come home, +eat +.Dq breakfast +and go to sleep. +I listened to this album +walking on completely empty +big city streets +in the dark. +. +.Ss Buffy Sainte-Marie \(em Up Where We Belong +I started listening to this album +after hearing it many mornings +walking into the cafe on my block +back in 2019. +I could tell Vincent was working +if I heard this when I opened the door. +. +.Ss Molasses \(em Trilogie: Toil & Peaceful Life +I listened to this when I had 8am classes +in CEGEP. +In particular my first semester philosophy course, +which was in the forum. +I usually got there even earlier +because of how the bus schedules worked out. +There was another girl in my class, +who I always sat next to, +who also got there early, +but we never spoke outside of class. +. +.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Funeral +This album just feels like walking outside +in fresh snow in early winter, +you know? +. +.Ss Molasses \(em Trouble at Jinx Hotel +I listened to this when I was looking for an apartment. +I specifically remember listening to it +walking down Clark toward my new place +to pick up my keys. +. +.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Neon Bible +The song +.Dq "No Cars Go" +is strongly associated for me +with my earliest gender feelings. +It's how I date when I first +started to feel like something was wrong. +The Suburbs was released in 2010, +so I was probably listening to Neon Bible +in 2011. +Ten years between that +and coming out. +. +.Ss "Do Make Say Think" \(em "You You're a History In Rust" +I remember hearing +.Dq "A Tender History In Rust" +for the first time +at the office of my first job. +Me and my coworkers stayed late, +probably on a Friday night, +drinking free tech startup booze. +. +.Ss mewithoutYou \(em It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright +I exclusively listened to this album +on a high school trip to Europe. +Every morning when we got on the bus, +I heard +.Dq Every Thought a Thought of You +and every night before bed +I listened to +.Dq The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate . +. +.Ss Arcade Fire \(em The Suburbs +I listened to this album a tonne +when I was playing +Minecraft and Urban Terror +with my online friends +while I was in high school. +In particular I remember +a backyard shed World of Padman map +and the apartments Minecraft world. +. +.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Reflektor +I associate +.Dq Afterlife +with the walk between Laurier metro +and my first job, +in the winter. +Must've just been how the timing worked out +with my commute at the time. +. +.Ss Swans \(em To Be Kind +I listened to this on one of my playthroughs +of Half-Life 2. +In particular I associate +.Dq Bring the Sun / Toussaint L'Ouverture +with the Water Hazard chapter. +. +.Ss Wrekmeister Harmonies \(em Light Falls +For a while I put this on whenever I +left my apartment to go somewhere +and it was already dark, +so probably winter. +. +.Ss St. Vincent \(em MASSEDUCTION +This, +along with the next one, +I think were all I listened to +on a family vacation +to Quebec City and New Brunswick +some years ago. +. +.Ss SOPHIE \(em Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides +Many hours on the road +on that family vacation. +Two albums on repeat. +. +.Ss Julia Holter \(em Aviary +This is another album +I listened to when I was taking +walks at 4am. +I wasn't in a good place. +Yet. +. +.Ss Beep Test \(em Laugh Track +A tape from the first act +at one of my favourite shows +I've ever been to, +at La Sotterenea +in Suoni 2019. +I wish I had been out already. +. +.Ss The Armed \(em Only Love +The third of the albums I listened to +on those dark walks. +I listened to it loud, +this album's mixing needs it. +. +.Ss Eliza Kavtion \(em The Rez That Summer +A favourite local artist. +I remember vividly the first time +I heard her play, +opening for Wrekmeister Harmonies +at La Vitrola in 2018. +. +.Sh AUTHORS +.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7 new file mode 100644 index 00000000..48bd3c3d --- /dev/null +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7 @@ -0,0 +1,185 @@ +.Dd December 21, 2022 +.Dt ALBUMS-2022 7 +.Os "Causal Agency" +. +.Sh NAME +.Nm albums 2022 +.Nd review +. +.Sh DESCRIPTION +it's the year-end review +of albums I listened to. +same as last year, +I added any albums I got into +this year to a playlist. +I've actually done that +every year since 2018. +maybe I'll review +those old playlists some time. +. +.Ss ZHAOZE \(em SUMMER INSECTS TALK ABOUT ICE (2021) +it's a five-and-a-half-minute album! +you can loop it however long you want. +it's really lovely. +.Pp +favourite track: +ON HORSEBACK, TO FARAWAY +. +.Ss KATE BUSH \(em HOUNDS OF LOVE (1985) +first of all I do not watch that one show. +I've known that track for a while actually. +I mean I probably first heard the CHROMATICS cover. +but anyway, +I think someone mentioned this album +on IRC at just the right time +and I put it on. +the second half really shines tbh. +love a concept album. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +RUNNING UP THAT HILL, +HOUNDS OF LOVE, +AND DREAM OF SHEEP, +WATCHING YOU WITHOUT ME, +THE MORNING FOG. +. +.Ss GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR \(em ALL LIGHTS FUCKED ON THE HAIRY AMP DROOLING (1994) +didn't expect to hear this probably ever. +still wild that it finally got uploaded. +and to be honest I'm a little mad +that it's actually good. +like yeah it's not a godspeed album +but it holds up as a tape on its own. +it's the kind of shit I listen to. +also can't believe some people +still thought it was fake. +like have you not heard +any other efrim menuck projects? +.Pp +favourite tracks: +$13.13, +DIMINISHING SHINE, +DADMOMDADDY, +333 FRAMES PER SECOND, +ALL ANGELS GONE. +. +.Ss BLACK DRESSES \(em FORGET YOUR OWN FACE (2022) +woops I think I only listened to this like twice. +will need to revisit it later for sure. +I'll like it. +. +.Ss BACKXWASH \(em I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES (2021) +only got into this album +after hearing it live this summer. +was the first show I went to in years +and it was really fucking good. +gotta listen to this shit loud. +sampling godspeed for a beat fucks. +honestly back to back bangers. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES, +TERROR PACKETS, +SONG OF SINNERS, +BURN TO ASHES. +. +.Ss PHILIP GLASS ENSEMBLE \(em EINSTEIN ON THE BEACH (1979) +actually just the knee plays +because I can't be bothered +listening to all of it. +and I'm embarrassed by how much +I enjoy this avant-garde bullshit. +like ok just sing repeating numbers at me +and my brain is happy. +what is this? +my kink? +anyway I also have kind of an obsession +with the +.Dq story of love +in knee 5. +I fucking hate it. +but it's delivered so well. +and that violin though! +.Pp +favourite tracks: +KNEE 1, +KNEE 5. +. +.Ss KANYE WEST \(em YEEZUS (2013) +ok look I listened to this +before recent events. +what the fuck. +it's a really good album though? +pretty sure I listened to it +because bound 2 kept getting in my head, +because of that minecraft parody parody +wayne did ages ago. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +BLACK SKINHEAD, +HOLD MY LIQUOR, +BLOOD ON THE LEAVES, +BOUND 2. +. +.Ss FLYING RACCOON SUIT \(em AFTERGLOW (2021) +I've listened to the whole album +a few times +but I'm mostly just here +for the title track. +this also happened to be +dropped in IRC at just the right time. +good ska-punk-type shit. +and I like lisps ok. +.Pp +favourite track: +AFTERGLOW. +. +.Ss RAMSHACKLE GLORY \(em LIVE THE DREAM (2011) +one of those albums +I don't know why I took so long +to get to. +I've been listening to johnny hobo +since I was like in high school. +ramshackle is a little more hopeful +and I love that. +your heart is a muscle the size of your fist. +keep on loving. +keep on fighting. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +WE ARE ALL COMPOST IN TRAINING, +NEVER COMING HOME, +YOUR HEART IS A MUSCLE THE SIZE OF YOUR FIST. +. +.Ss LES RALLIZES D\('ENUD\('ES \(em THE OZ TAPES (2022) +a pleasant surprise in someone's playlist. +lately I've been listening to this +in the metro to or from electrolysis. +it's good listening for that. +bold to have two versions +of the same 24-minute song +on the same release. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +A SHADOW ON OUR JOY, +THE LAST ONE_1970 (ver.2). +. +.Ss LINGUA IGNOTA \(em SINNER GET READY (2021) +another I'm only getting into +after hearing it live. +just last sunday actually. +was a good show. +people will go wild +to hear a cover live for real. +.Pp +favourite tracks: +I WHO BEND THE TALL GRASSES, +PENNSYLVANIA FURNACE, +PERPETUAL FLAME OF CENTRALIA. +. +.Sh AUTHORS +.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency +.Pp +I started writing this +before I saw LINGUA IGNOTA. +good thing I waited. diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7 new file mode 100644 index 00000000..445e04c3 --- /dev/null +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7 @@ -0,0 +1,62 @@ +.Dd February 23, 2024 +.Dt COMFORT-MUSIC 7 +.Os "Causal Agency" +. +.Sh NAME +.Nm comfort music +.Nd feel better +. +.Sh DESCRIPTION +it's been a while. +and I'm on almost no sleep +and haven't eaten a real meal +since noon. +which is a state I've written +at least a couple posts in before, +so what better time +to return to what has apparently +become this blog's format: +lists of some music I like. +. +.Pp +this is a list of music that comforts me. +. +.Bl -bullet +.It +knee play 5, from einstein on the beach. +I like the organ and the counting and the cadence of the story. +.It +low \(em words. +and I'm tired. +.It +godspeed you! black emperor \(em storm. +this is like my original comfort music. +been listening to it since I was teenage. +the grooves are worn deep in my mind. +.It +set fire to flames \(em love song for 15 ontario (w/ singing police car). +I like how it ends. +.It +va, from the beginner's guide. +I think that's the whole point. +though maybe it's too sad +to be truly comforting. +.It +undertale, from undertale. +what can I say? +.It +wrekmeister harmonies \(em covered in blood from invisible wounds. +I find quite a bit of the album comforting really. +I'm picking this one because I like the cadence +of the lyrics. +.It +lingua ignota \(em pennsylvania furnace and perpetual flame of centralia. +these are really my go to in recent times. +I like waiting for the next line. +.El +. +.Sh AUTHORS +.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency +.Pp +I don't think I've said anything +very interesting here. diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7 new file mode 100644 index 00000000..957c6289 --- /dev/null +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7 @@ -0,0 +1,78 @@ +.Dd March 24, 2024 +.Dt LITTLE-BLESSINGS 7 +.Os "Causal Agency" +. +.Sh NAME +.Nm little blessings +.Nd life's +. +.Sh DESCRIPTION +today I went out to go around. +run some errands and do some shopping. +along the way I was given +several of life's little blessings. +. +.Pp +while walking on ste-cath +between berri and complexe desjardins, +there was a somewhat disheveled man +walking in the same direction and singing. +he had a beautiful voice. +he was singing a sad song in french, +and he sung it well and enunciated every word. +. +.Pp +in the mcdonald's at complexe desjardins, +while waiting for my order, +there were what appeared to be +a teenager and her younger brother, +who must have been +looking at the display of +current happy meal toys. +the teenager was playing smash or pass, +to the amusement of the younger one. +they got ice cream +and ate it across the room from me downstairs. +. +.Pp +later, +taking the 24 home from atwater +carrying my new vacuum cleaner, +the bus got lost. +I think the driver missed the stop +and tried to compensate +by turning north onto peel +and stopping there. +but then he had to keep going up peel. +he turned right onto docteur-penfield, +which just brings you further up the mountain. +when it met des pins, +he turned left and pulled over, +asking for guidance over the radio. +we got moving again, +back towards peel. +that's how I ended up +on a 24 +.Dq sherbrooke +east, +facing west on des pins. +it was actually quite scenic. +and amusing. +I was in no rush. +. +.Pp +after getting back onto sherbrooke, +the bus had to take another detour, +this one planned. +so my ride on the 24, +which normally only drives on sherbrooke, +ended up going on peel, +docteur-penfield, +des pins, +de bleury, +ren\('e-l\('evesque +and saint-laurent. +it was a very exciting bus trip. +. +.Sh AUTHORS +.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile index c5555274..a8683a20 100644 --- a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile @@ -38,15 +38,24 @@ TXTS += 035-addendum-2021.txt TXTS += 036-compassion.txt TXTS += 037-care.txt TXTS += 038-agency.txt +TXTS += 039-apologies.txt +TXTS += 040-sound-memory.txt +TXTS += 041-albums-2022.txt +TXTS += 042-comfort-music.txt +TXTS += 043-little-blessings.txt all: colb ${TXTS} -.SUFFIXES: .7 .txt +.SUFFIXES: .7 .fmt .txt .7.txt: mandoc -T utf8 $< | ./colb > $@ touch -m -r $< $@ +.fmt.txt: + fmt $< | sed '1,/^$$/d' > $@ + touch -m -r $< $@ + feed.atom: feed.sh colb ${TXTS} sh feed.sh > feed.atom diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh b/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh index 668046ef..71bbf662 100644 --- a/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh +++ b/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh @@ -27,6 +27,7 @@ set -- *.txt shift $(( $# - 20 )) for txt; do entry="${txt%.txt}.7" + test -f "$entry" || entry="${txt%.txt}.fmt" date=$(grep '^[.]Dd' "$entry" | cut -c 5-) title=$(grep -m 1 '^[.]Nm' "$entry" | cut -c 5- | encode) summary=$(grep '^[.]Nd' "$entry" | cut -c 5- | encode) |