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diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/033-jorts.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/033-jorts.7
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+.Dd February  2, 2022
+.Dt JORTS 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Introducing Jorts
+.Nd june's ports
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+Alright so I've gone off the deep end,
+maybe.
+After continual frustration with MacPorts
+culminating in not being able to install
+.Xr nvi 1
+on my work MacBook,
+I have just gone ahead
+and started my own personal ports tree
+for macOS.
+After a couple of weeks,
+I have 32 ports in my tree
+and only two remaining requested ports
+installed from MacPorts.
+.
+.Pp
+I set out with a couple ideas in mind:
+.Bl -bullet
+.It
+This will be my own personal ports tree.
+It only has to work for me.
+Since I'm using it on both
+my personal Intel MacBook Pro
+still running Catalina
+and my work M1 MacBook Pro
+running Monterey,
+it is at least that portable.
+.
+.It
+It's ok to rely on
+system libraries and tools
+provided by macOS.
+I'm not creating a distro,
+so it doesn't need to be totally isolated.
+This lets me skip really annoying things
+like compiler toolchains.
+.
+.It
+Sources get vendored,
+either from release tarballs
+or with
+.Xr git-subtree 1 .
+This allows totally pain-free
+local patching,
+and boy has this paid off.
+I can just do what I need to do
+to get the thing to build how I want
+and commit it in git like anything else.
+.Pp
+It also means that the tree itself
+is entirely self-contained
+and doesn't rely on any external sources
+or network access.
+Honestly with some old and obscure software
+it feels like upstream could disappear at any moment,
+so this gives me peace of mind too.
+.Pp
+Another advantage of vendoring upstream sources
+is that all of the code installed on my system
+(in
+.Pa /usr/local
+anyway)
+is easily inspected,
+much like
+.Pa /usr/src
+on a BSD.
+This can be super useful for debugging
+or just for reference.
+.
+.It
+Produce simple package tarballs.
+They're just the contents of
+.Ev DESTDIR
+after a staged install.
+They get installed for real
+by untarring them in
+.Pa / .
+They can then be uninstalled
+(or upgraded)
+by removing the paths contained
+in the tarball from the system.
+.
+.It
+Track installed packages with symbolic links
+to specific package tarballs.
+Keep old tarballs around for rollbacks.
+This means I can see what's installed
+with plain old
+.Xr ls 1 !
+.Bd -literal
+$ ls */Installed
+\&...
+libretls/Installed          toilet/Installed
+mandoc/Installed            tree/Installed
+
+$ ls -l toilet/Installed
+lrwxr-xr-x  1 root  staff  19 17 Jan 21:45 toilet/Installed -> toilet-0.3~1.tar.gz
+.Ed
+.
+.It
+Use
+.Xr bmake 1 .
+It's scrutable.
+It also knows how to bootstrap itself
+pretty well.
+Since
+.Xr bmake 1
+is itself a port in my tree
+that would require
+.Xr bmake 1
+to build and install,
+I wrote a small
+.Pa Bootstrap
+shell script
+to install
+.Xr bmake 1
+.Dq manually
+then use that
+.Xr bmake 1
+to build and install its own port.
+It also requires a bit of care
+when upgrading the
+.Xr bmake 1
+port since macOS
+rather doesn't like a binary
+deleting itself while it's running.
+.
+.It
+No GNU software.
+I simply refuse to do it.
+To that end,
+prefer configuring/building with
+.Xr cmake 1
+where at all possible.
+I fell into this early on
+since I originally just wanted to install
+.Xr nvi 1
+and
+.Sy lichray/nvi2
+is a better upstream source these days
+that uses
+.Xr cmake 1 .
+.Pp
+With a port and support for
+.Xr cmake 1
+in
+.Pa Port.mk ,
+I can make changes to
+.Pa CMakeLists.txt
+files without issue.
+I can also vendor upstreams
+directly from git
+rather than having to find
+release tarballs with generated
+.Pa configure
+scripts and so on.
+When I need to make changes
+to the build systems of projects using autotools,
+I either have to have autotools installed
+(from outside my tree)
+or painstakingly reflect my edits by hand
+in the generated files,
+both of which suck hard.
+.El
+.
+.Pp
+Ok so that's actually quite a number of ideas.
+But they have come together
+into something surprisingly usable
+surprisingly quickly!
+Like I said,
+this is only intended to be
+my own personal ports tree,
+but I hope that some of these ideas
+are interesting
+and maybe inspire others
+to explore similar approaches.
+.
+.Pp
+But wait,
+I'm not done yet!
+There are some other interesting things
+that I came up with along the way,
+and also some complaints
+about some upstreams,
+but I'll try to keep those to a minimum.
+.
+.Pp
+So it turns out that dependencies are hard.
+Who knew?
+It's easy enough to enforce
+direct dependencies
+at build time
+by just checking for the required
+.Pa Installed
+symlinks.
+It's less straightforward
+to do this recursively,
+which you need if
+you want to be able to say,
+.Do
+Install
+.Xr nvi
+for me!
+.Dc
+and get
+.Xr ncurses 3 ,
+.Xr cmake 1
+and
+.Xr pkgconf 1
+installed first
+if they aren't already.
+.
+.Pp
+Rather than trying to do all that in
+.Xr bmake 1 ,
+I wrote a shell script called
+.Pa Plan ,
+which itself produces a shell script.
+Given a list of ports
+to install or upgrade,
+it recursively gathers their dependencies
+and feeds them to
+.Xr tsort 1 ,
+which is a neat utility
+which topologically sorts a graph.
+In other words,
+it determines the order
+in which the graph of dependencies
+should be installed.
+The
+.Pa Plan
+script produces a list of
+.Xr bmake 1
+commands to make that happen
+on standard output,
+which can be piped to
+.Xr sh 1 .
+So,
+the way to say the above is:
+.Bd -literal -offset ident
+$ ./Plan -j4 nvi | sh -e
+.Ed
+.
+.Pp
+Now,
+what's missing from this approach
+is the ability to automatically
+uninstall no-longer-needed dependencies.
+It's something I've criticized Homebrew for lacking
+and one of the reasons I started using MacPorts,
+so it's somewhat ironic that
+my own system lacks it as well.
+However,
+I don't think it's much of a problem,
+since I'm only packaging
+what I actually want installed
+in the first place.
+On my personal computer,
+I have all 32 of my ports installed,
+and I expect that to continue.
+I can always keep using MacPorts
+to install things I only intend
+to use temporarily.
+.
+.Pp
+Another thing I was slightly concerned about
+from the beginning was disk usage.
+I think the benefits of vendoring sources
+far outweigh the cost in storage,
+but it would be nice to at least minimize that cost.
+Previously,
+I wrote about
+.Xr git-sparse-checkout 1 ,
+which allows you to only have certain paths
+checked out in your git working tree.
+Since port sources aren't always interesting
+and only
+.Em required
+while actually building the port,
+it makes sense to not have them always checked out.
+.
+.Pp
+Rather than manipulate
+.Xr git-sparse-checkout 1
+myself,
+I added support for it
+directly into
+.Pa Port.mk .
+If sparse checkout is enabled,
+building a port will automatically
+add its source tree to the checkout list,
+and cleaning that port will
+remove it from the list.
+At rest,
+only the port system itself
+and the package tarballs
+need to be present on the file system.
+.
+.Pp
+It turns out that upstream
+build system behaviour
+is super inconsistent,
+even among projects using
+the same tools.
+I started collecting a list of checks
+to perform on the output of my port builds
+to make sure they didn't do anything weird.
+They live in
+.Pa Check.sh ,
+which gets run
+when a package tarball is created.
+The current list of checks is:
+.Bl -bullet
+.It
+Check for directories not included by
+.Ev PACKAGE_DIRS .
+In other words,
+make sure the port isn't
+trying to install anything
+outside of
+.Pa /usr/local .
+Sometimes this makes sense,
+though,
+which is what
+.Ev PACKAGE_DIRS
+is for.
+.It
+Check for references to PWD,
+i.e. the build directory.
+This can mean the build
+didn't understand
+.Ev PREFIX
+and
+.Ev DESTDIR
+correctly,
+or that it built with debug info.
+.It
+Check for binaries without manuals.
+If your software installs an executable in
+.Pa bin
+but not a manual page,
+your software is incomplete!
+Sometimes this just means
+I missed an extra documentation install target.
+.It
+Check for dynamic linking to outside objects.
+In other words,
+if something ended up linking to
+a library installed by MacPorts
+rather than the one from
+.Nm jorts
+or macOS.
+.It
+Check for dynamic linking
+to system libraries
+.Nm jorts
+provides instead.
+Similar to the last one,
+if both macOS and
+.Nm jorts
+provide a library,
+check that ports link with the latter.
+.It
+Check for scripts with outside interpreters.
+This is analogous to the linking checks
+but for scripts,
+checking that their shebang lines
+refer to interpreters installed
+by macOS or
+.Nm jorts .
+.El
+.
+.Pp
+A number of my ports
+still fail some of these checks,
+but I have fixed a lot of problems
+the script called out.
+.
+.Pp
+Speaking of problem ports...
+git's build system is truly awful.
+I'm sorry,
+it's just really disappointing.
+On the upside though,
+I did manage to patch it
+to use
+.Xr asciidoctor 1
+directly to generate manual pages
+from asciidoc source,
+rather than generating docbook or whatever
+then converting that.
+One less build dependency!
+I also fixed up curl's
+.Pa CMakeLists.txt
+(which I guess are normally only used on Windows)
+to build and install documentation properly.
+And I got libcaca's Cocoa driver working again!
+Very important to be able to run
+.Xr cacafire 1
+in a Cocoa window.
+.
+.Pp
+Shout out to SDL2,
+which didn't require any patching
+or extra options beyond
+.Ev USE_CMAKE=yes .
+Model upstream.
+.
+.Pp
+Some other odds and ends:
+I like being able to name ports how I want
+(for example,
+.Sy ag )
+and use my own port version convention,
+using
+.Ql +
+to append VCS revisions
+and
+.Ql ~
+to append port revisions.
+I don't think those are likely
+to ever clash with upstream versioning schemes.
+Not that I even need to follow upstream versioning.
+There is no reason the version number of
+.Xr dash 1
+should start with a zero.
+.
+.Pp
+Speaking of versions,
+a big downside of maintaining your own ports tree
+is that you actually need to update it.
+Thankfully,
+once I packaged
+.Xr curl 1
+and
+.Xr jq 1
+(which needs a new release dammit,
+it's been 4 years and the build is broken
+on macOS),
+I could use the Repology API
+to check if I'm behind everyone else.
+Far more reliable than
+trying to automate checking upstreams
+for new versions.
+That lives in the
+.Pa Outdated
+shell script.
+.
+.Pp
+Phew!
+I wrote a lot about this.
+It feels a little self-indulgent,
+but I've had fun working on this
+and want to share.
+If anyone else tries anything similar,
+or is weird enough to give
+.Nm jorts
+a try themselves,
+I'd love to hear about it!
+.
+.Sh SEE ALSO
+.Lk https://git.causal.agency/jorts/
+.Pp
+.Lk https://youtu.be/Sx3ORAO1Y6s
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.Pp
+Listening to
+.Em Arcade Fire \(em Arcade Fire (EP) ,
+.Em Arcade Fire \(em The Suburbs .
+.Pp
+Typed on a brand new
+Leopold FC660M
+with Cherry MX Red switches.
+Lovely keyboard.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/034-voices.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/034-voices.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4990295d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/034-voices.7
@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
+.Dd March  5, 2022
+.Dt VOICES 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Voices
+.Nd more kinds of them
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+Welcome to the third time
+I started writing this post!
+I think the first time
+was after watching a jan Misali video
+that had clips of audio interviews in it.
+It got me thinking about
+how interesting it was
+to hear someone's voice
+without knowing anything else about them.
+.
+.Pp
+That's pretty much all I managed to write
+the first two times I started this.
+If I get past this next sentence,
+then I can probably finish the post.
+What stopped me was that
+all my thoughts and feelings about voices
+are influenced by being trans
+(and being a fan of other trans people),
+and I thought,
+.Dq I don't write about that here,
+but why don't I?
+I don't have to come out to my blog.
+.
+.Pp
+So really what I have been wanting to say is this:
+every trans woman's voice that I have heard
+has sounded genuinely wonderful to me.
+Especially if you're reading this
+and we've been on a voice call before.
+I know,
+voices are the object of so much self-consciousness,
+but I really wish they didn't have to be.
+Most of us do not sound like cis women
+and to me that is fine.
+Good, actually.
+Trans women sound like trans women.
+As a voice appreciator,
+I am so happy to hear more kinds.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.Pp
+I've been watching some Vektroid streams lately,
+and I love her voice.
+It was another thing
+reminding me to write this.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/035-addendum-2021.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/035-addendum-2021.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..262f2178
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/035-addendum-2021.7
@@ -0,0 +1,111 @@
+.Dd March 18, 2022
+.Dt ADDENDUM-2021 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Addendum 2021
+.Nd missed music
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+I just realized that I totally forgot
+some important music for me from last year
+in my Albums 2021 post,
+because it wasn't in my playlist.
+Last year I watched
+the Berserk anime from 1997,
+and its soundtrack is incredible.
+.
+.Pp
+Actually the only reason
+I started watching it at all
+was because of the music.
+I was watching the wayneradiotv stream,
+.Do
+Mon repas durant un temps de tristesse;
+un pizza je n'oublierai jamais
+.Dc
+and I was mesmerized by the Guts theme.
+I had to find out what it was from.
+This was also around the time
+that Kentaro Miura died
+so people were really talking about it.
+Anyway just hearing
+that part of the soundtrack
+got me to start watching the anime,
+since you can find it all on youtube.
+.
+.Pp
+The anime in general did not disappoint.
+Actually it's really fucking good,
+and so is the rest of the soundtrack.
+The title sequence and credits tracks
+are so good that I let them play
+every episode even though
+I watched the series over only like 2 days.
+.
+.Pp
+I absolutely love whatever genre this stuff is.
+Is '90s anime intros its own genre?
+Something about combining
+acoustic and electric guitars,
+maybe.
+I'm also fond of
+the poorly written english lyrics.
+They're poetic in a distinctive way.
+I feel the same about
+that Shinsei Kamattechan
+song that was used for the credits of
+Attack on Titan season 2.
+Honestly awesome to write lyrics
+in a second language you haven't mastered.
+.
+.Pp
+So,
+the intro track,
+.Em Tell Me Why .
+First off,
+that sword sound effect
+near the beginning rules.
+Put that in more songs.
+What I really can't get enough of
+on this track are
+the quiet shouty vocals
+a bit off to the left
+during the chorus.
+It's such a cool idea
+to have clean lead vocals
+and shouting in the background.
+.
+.Pp
+And the credits track,
+.Em "Waiting So Long" .
+That first low note is so good.
+This is really a perfect credits song
+for the atmosphere of the show.
+It's creeping.
+The dual vocals
+the whole way through
+are such an interesting texture.
+Both of these tracks
+have really cool vocal sounds.
+And that dirty final guitar chord
+is a great sound to end on.
+.
+.Sh SEE ALSO
+These aren't great quality uploads
+but this stuff is sadly hard to find.
+.Bl -tag -width Ds
+.It "Guts"
+.Lk https://youtu.be/vZa0Yh6e7dw
+.It "Earth"
+.Lk https://youtu.be/5iAViNf9Z4Y
+.It "Penpals \(em Tell Me Why"
+.Lk https://youtu.be/I2rV8oKWSdM
+.It "Silver Fins \(em Waiting So Long"
+.Lk https://youtu.be/70GD2SBCq64
+.El
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.Pp
+.Dq I like swinging my sword in battle.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/036-compassion.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/036-compassion.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9d0d887d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/036-compassion.7
@@ -0,0 +1,105 @@
+.Dd March 31, 2022
+.Dt COMPASSION 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Compassion
+.Nd better world fiction
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+Recently I watched the film
+.Em Margarita With a Straw .
+I'm not sure how to feel
+about some aspects of it,
+but it tries to do a lot,
+and I was still thinking about it
+a couple days later.
+.
+.Pp
+What really sticks out about it,
+to me,
+is that it is
+better world fiction,
+for lack of a better term.
+It's a film about two characters
+with disabilities,
+but it doesn't play into tropes.
+There's no big dramatic scene
+where a character gets treated unfairly.
+It doesn't really happen.
+In the world of the movie,
+most people are accepting,
+patient
+and compassionate.
+That's not to say
+there is no conflict.
+The film is just telling a different story.
+.
+.Pp
+The story takes place
+in a better world.
+Or maybe it takes place
+in a world that exists
+within our own,
+hidden between the worse parts.
+It's wonderfully subversive.
+Because I went into the film
+expecting at least one deeply upsetting
+scene of discrimination.
+What else would you expect
+of a story like this one,
+right?
+But instead of being upset,
+I was warmed.
+It was so nice to see
+the characters work through
+their own problems
+surrounded by simple kindness.
+And when it was over,
+I was left wanting
+to move our world
+closer to that one.
+.
+.Pp
+That's what I love about this kind of fiction.
+It's why I love the books of Becky Chambers so much.
+They give me hope,
+and guidance.
+I count the
+.Em Murderbot Diaries
+series in this as well,
+which shows a sort of bad world,
+and an alternative.
+I think it's so important
+to see the good that exists
+and the good that could exist.
+Rather than something to fight against,
+these stories show something to fight for.
+A more compassionate world.
+.
+.Pp
+I know,
+one person can't change the world.
+But they can change their own world,
+and the worlds of those around them.
+And slowly,
+good things can spread.
+I'll strive to be
+more patient,
+more understanding,
+more compassionate,
+and I hope you will too.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.
+.Pp
+I can't help but worry,
+when I write something like this,
+that someone I know will read it
+and think that I'm lying
+because I've hurt them.
+If that's the case,
+I am sorry,
+and I promise
+I am trying to do better.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..052a4727
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/037-care.7
@@ -0,0 +1,167 @@
+.Dd April  3, 2022
+.Dt CARE 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Care
+.Nd trans stuff in Montreal
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+This kind of info
+is frustratingly hard to find
+even from support orgs
+and the like.
+I think it's unlikely
+that anyone in my blog's audience
+is also someone who needs this info,
+and my blog isn't easy to find either,
+but I want to at least
+make it available somewhere.
+Really this is just like
+the posts where I figure out
+how to do something with a computer
+then I write it down.
+.
+.Pp
+Prices obviously change,
+by which I mean they inevitably go up,
+but I'm gonna give the amounts I paid
+in 2021\(en2022.
+Also if you want more details
+about any of this
+please email me.
+I will be happy to tell you all about it.
+.
+.Ss Medication
+I get HRT through
+Dr. Gabrielle Landry
+at La Clinique A,
+which is a private clinic.
+I've done everything over the phone.
+After the first consultation,
+I signed an informed consent form
+and had a prescription the next day,
+which I could start
+after I got an initial blood test.
+The information I found
+said to contact a specific person
+at the clinic with a direct phone number,
+which is what I did.
+Email me if you want that number.
+.
+.Pp
+I paid $300 for the first consult,
+$195 for the first followup,
+and $75 for further followups.
+I think annual appointments
+are more expensive
+than the followups.
+I've been getting blood tests done at a CLSC,
+which is free.
+On the public drug insurance plan,
+I paid $30-$35
+for my prescriptions
+as my dosage increased.
+I have private insurance now
+that entirely covers prescriptions,
+so I'm not sure what I'd be paying
+for my current prescription
+on the public plan.
+.
+.Ss Hair removal
+I tried laser hair removal,
+for longer than I should have.
+It was a waste of time and money.
+Do not believe any arguments about
+its convenience over electrolysis.
+.
+.Pp
+I've started getting electrolysis done
+with Dimi.
+Again,
+feel free to email me for contact info.
+He is very good and can do long sessions.
+I really don't find it very painful,
+which I think is partly my own pain tolerance
+and partly good equipment and skill.
+I've also found that taking acetaminophen beforehand
+and dressing warmly to keep my body relaxed help.
+I've paid $85 for hour-long sessions
+and $160 for two-hour sessions.
+I'm still early in treatment,
+but I'm really happy with the results so far!
+.
+.Ss Sex & name change
+The form for this is
+.Do
+Application to Change the Sex Designation
+of a Person 18 Years of Age and Over
+.Dc
+from the
+.Em Directeur de l'\('etat civil .
+It's self-ID,
+but you have to get it signed by
+someone you know
+and a commissioner for oaths.
+Julien at P10 is qualified for that
+and was super nice.
+We did it over Zoom.
+It's a free service,
+so I made a donation to P10.
+.
+.Pp
+I paid $144 to file mine
+but it's now FREE
+the first time you do it.
+Also $17 to mail it.
+Surprisingly,
+I got an acknowledgment letter
+.Po
+just saying they got it
+and would start looking at it
+.Dq shortly
+.Pc
+like a week and a half
+after I mailed the application.
+My cheque was cashed
+39 days after the date
+on the acknowledgment,
+and I got a
+.Dq favourable decision
+a week later.
+It takes another 30 days
+to get the certificate of change,
+after which you can
+order a new birth certificate
+and RAMQ will (slowly) send you a form
+to get a new card.
+In all it took about 4 months
+from when I mailed the application
+to having ID with my name on it.
+.
+.Ss Therapy
+I'm not seeking therapy
+for gender specifically,
+but I would like to find a good therapist
+that's aware of it.
+I'll update this
+if I find one.
+.
+.Ss Piercings
+Ok I know this isn't trans-specific
+but at least for me getting piercings
+was gender-affirming.
+Cuz I got nipple piercings lol.
+Anyway,
+I went to Mauve.
+They're super nice,
+really know what they're doing,
+and their website has lots of info.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.
+.Pp
+If somehow you did find this useful,
+I'd love for you to email me
+and let me know how things went for you.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/038-agency.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/038-agency.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f99a070b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/038-agency.7
@@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
+.Dd April 14, 2022
+.Dt AGENCY 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Agency
+.Nd origin of a name
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+When I registered this domain name,
+it was aspirational.
+Intentionally so.
+I wanted a new domain
+for a new identity,
+and I was thinking about personhood.
+That's what causal agency means.
+.
+.Pp
+It really was aspirational
+for me at the time.
+I spent a lot of time
+wishing I could be a person,
+because I didn't feel like one.
+I didn't feel real,
+like everyone else was.
+I didn't have any power
+over my own life.
+Things just happened to me,
+and I watched.
+There wasn't really a
+.Dq me
+there.
+The world was something that happened
+but that I couldn't interact with.
+I felt like that
+for most of my life.
+.
+.Pp
+But at some point
+I decided that,
+even if I wasn't now,
+one day I hoped to be an actual real life person.
+Like most programmers
+I am dreadful at naming things,
+so I didn't come up
+with this clever domain name
+myself.
+I typed
+.Dq person
+into some thesaurus,
+and it gave back
+.Dq causal agent ,
+and I realized
+agency is a TLD now.
+.
+.Pp
+Maybe it's a little dramatic
+to label myself with the thing
+I didn't think I had.
+But who knows,
+maybe it helped.
+Because it took a few years,
+but I did become a person.
+I feel real now.
+I can change my own life
+and the world around me.
+I have causal agency.
+.
+.Pp
+I am really proud of this domain name.
+I'm proud to put it on everything I make.
+Every instance of it
+is a reminder
+that I did what I set out to do,
+and that I'm still doing it.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.
+.Pp
+If anything in this post resonates with you,
+I want you to know that,
+whatever you think you can't do,
+it is possible,
+and you'll get there one day.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1b15076a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/039-apologies.7
@@ -0,0 +1,81 @@
+.Dd September 19, 2022
+.Dt APOLOGIES 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Apologies
+.Nd making them
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+Apologies are very important to me.
+Unfortunately
+I've only recently realized
+how valuable they are.
+I've tried to think about
+what makes a good apology,
+since it's not something
+I was ever taught.
+This is the advice
+I came up with for myself,
+on how to apologize.
+.
+.Bl -enum
+.It
+Make the apology.
+This is the most important part.
+If you feel guilty
+for something you've done,
+or think you might have hurt someone,
+apologize.
+Even if they don't need an apology,
+saying sorry won't hurt.
+And start with that.
+Literally say
+.Dq I'm sorry .
+Sometimes people forget that.
+.Pp
+On the other side,
+if you've been hurt by someone,
+and you trust them,
+let them know.
+Give them a chance to apologize.
+People don't always realize
+they've made a mistake.
+.
+.It
+Explain what you did wrong.
+I think it's important
+for the other person
+to know you understand
+how you've messed up.
+Really think about this!
+It's what will help you learn.
+If you know you've hurt someone
+but you're not sure why,
+you can try asking them.
+Take their answer seriously.
+.
+.It
+Don't make excuses.
+Do not talk about yourself.
+Don't even mention
+how you were feeling stressed that day,
+or whatever.
+It's not relevant.
+We all make mistakes,
+we all have bad days.
+.
+.It
+Commit to doing better.
+Try to learn from your mistakes.
+Say it won't happen again.
+Literally say
+.Dq I won't do that again .
+And then try your hardest to make that true.
+An apology is a commitment,
+not something you're done with
+once you've said it.
+.El
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c995de08
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/040-sound-memory.7
@@ -0,0 +1,165 @@
+.Dd November 14, 2022
+.Dt SOUND-MEMORY 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm Sound Memory
+.Nd associations
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+.Ss Talking Heads \(em "Remain In Light"
+The first time I gave this album a serious listen
+was when I was going for several-hour walks
+at 4 in the morning in,
+I think,
+fall 2020.
+I would stay up all night,
+go out walking at 4am
+for a couple hours,
+come home,
+eat
+.Dq breakfast
+and go to sleep.
+I listened to this album
+walking on completely empty
+big city streets
+in the dark.
+.
+.Ss Buffy Sainte-Marie \(em Up Where We Belong
+I started listening to this album
+after hearing it many mornings
+walking into the cafe on my block
+back in 2019.
+I could tell Vincent was working
+if I heard this when I opened the door.
+.
+.Ss Molasses \(em Trilogie: Toil & Peaceful Life
+I listened to this when I had 8am classes
+in CEGEP.
+In particular my first semester philosophy course,
+which was in the forum.
+I usually got there even earlier
+because of how the bus schedules worked out.
+There was another girl in my class,
+who I always sat next to,
+who also got there early,
+but we never spoke outside of class.
+.
+.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Funeral
+This album just feels like walking outside
+in fresh snow in early winter,
+you know?
+.
+.Ss Molasses \(em Trouble at Jinx Hotel
+I listened to this when I was looking for an apartment.
+I specifically remember listening to it
+walking down Clark toward my new place
+to pick up my keys.
+.
+.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Neon Bible
+The song
+.Dq "No Cars Go"
+is strongly associated for me
+with my earliest gender feelings.
+It's how I date when I first
+started to feel like something was wrong.
+The Suburbs was released in 2010,
+so I was probably listening to Neon Bible
+in 2011.
+Ten years between that
+and coming out.
+.
+.Ss "Do Make Say Think" \(em "You You're a History In Rust"
+I remember hearing
+.Dq "A Tender History In Rust"
+for the first time
+at the office of my first job.
+Me and my coworkers stayed late,
+probably on a Friday night,
+drinking free tech startup booze.
+.
+.Ss mewithoutYou \(em It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright
+I exclusively listened to this album
+on a high school trip to Europe.
+Every morning when we got on the bus,
+I heard
+.Dq Every Thought a Thought of You
+and every night before bed
+I listened to
+.Dq The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate .
+.
+.Ss Arcade Fire \(em The Suburbs
+I listened to this album a tonne
+when I was playing
+Minecraft and Urban Terror
+with my online friends
+while I was in high school.
+In particular I remember
+a backyard shed World of Padman map
+and the apartments Minecraft world.
+.
+.Ss Arcade Fire \(em Reflektor
+I associate
+.Dq Afterlife
+with the walk between Laurier metro
+and my first job,
+in the winter.
+Must've just been how the timing worked out
+with my commute at the time.
+.
+.Ss Swans \(em To Be Kind
+I listened to this on one of my playthroughs
+of Half-Life 2.
+In particular I associate
+.Dq Bring the Sun / Toussaint L'Ouverture
+with the Water Hazard chapter.
+.
+.Ss Wrekmeister Harmonies \(em Light Falls
+For a while I put this on whenever I
+left my apartment to go somewhere
+and it was already dark,
+so probably winter.
+.
+.Ss St. Vincent \(em MASSEDUCTION
+This,
+along with the next one,
+I think were all I listened to
+on a family vacation
+to Quebec City and New Brunswick
+some years ago.
+.
+.Ss SOPHIE \(em Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides
+Many hours on the road
+on that family vacation.
+Two albums on repeat.
+.
+.Ss Julia Holter \(em Aviary
+This is another album
+I listened to when I was taking
+walks at 4am.
+I wasn't in a good place.
+Yet.
+.
+.Ss Beep Test \(em Laugh Track
+A tape from the first act
+at one of my favourite shows
+I've ever been to,
+at La Sotterenea
+in Suoni 2019.
+I wish I had been out already.
+.
+.Ss The Armed \(em Only Love
+The third of the albums I listened to
+on those dark walks.
+I listened to it loud,
+this album's mixing needs it.
+.
+.Ss Eliza Kavtion \(em The Rez That Summer
+A favourite local artist.
+I remember vividly the first time
+I heard her play,
+opening for Wrekmeister Harmonies
+at La Vitrola in 2018.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..48bd3c3d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/041-albums-2022.7
@@ -0,0 +1,185 @@
+.Dd December 21, 2022
+.Dt ALBUMS-2022 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm albums 2022
+.Nd review
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+it's the year-end review
+of albums I listened to.
+same as last year,
+I added any albums I got into
+this year to a playlist.
+I've actually done that
+every year since 2018.
+maybe I'll review
+those old playlists some time.
+.
+.Ss ZHAOZE \(em SUMMER INSECTS TALK ABOUT ICE (2021)
+it's a five-and-a-half-minute album!
+you can loop it however long you want.
+it's really lovely.
+.Pp
+favourite track:
+ON HORSEBACK, TO FARAWAY
+.
+.Ss KATE BUSH \(em HOUNDS OF LOVE (1985)
+first of all I do not watch that one show.
+I've known that track for a while actually.
+I mean I probably first heard the CHROMATICS cover.
+but anyway,
+I think someone mentioned this album
+on IRC at just the right time
+and I put it on.
+the second half really shines tbh.
+love a concept album.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+RUNNING UP THAT HILL,
+HOUNDS OF LOVE,
+AND DREAM OF SHEEP,
+WATCHING YOU WITHOUT ME,
+THE MORNING FOG.
+.
+.Ss GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR \(em ALL LIGHTS FUCKED ON THE HAIRY AMP DROOLING (1994)
+didn't expect to hear this probably ever.
+still wild that it finally got uploaded.
+and to be honest I'm a little mad
+that it's actually good.
+like yeah it's not a godspeed album
+but it holds up as a tape on its own.
+it's the kind of shit I listen to.
+also can't believe some people
+still thought it was fake.
+like have you not heard
+any other efrim menuck projects?
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+$13.13,
+DIMINISHING SHINE,
+DADMOMDADDY,
+333 FRAMES PER SECOND,
+ALL ANGELS GONE.
+.
+.Ss BLACK DRESSES \(em FORGET YOUR OWN FACE (2022)
+woops I think I only listened to this like twice.
+will need to revisit it later for sure.
+I'll like it.
+.
+.Ss BACKXWASH \(em I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES (2021)
+only got into this album
+after hearing it live this summer.
+was the first show I went to in years
+and it was really fucking good.
+gotta listen to this shit loud.
+sampling godspeed for a beat fucks.
+honestly back to back bangers.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+I LIE HERE BURIED WITH MY RINGS AND MY DRESSES,
+TERROR PACKETS,
+SONG OF SINNERS,
+BURN TO ASHES.
+.
+.Ss PHILIP GLASS ENSEMBLE \(em EINSTEIN ON THE BEACH (1979)
+actually just the knee plays
+because I can't be bothered
+listening to all of it.
+and I'm embarrassed by how much
+I enjoy this avant-garde bullshit.
+like ok just sing repeating numbers at me
+and my brain is happy.
+what is this?
+my kink?
+anyway I also have kind of an obsession
+with the
+.Dq story of love
+in knee 5.
+I fucking hate it.
+but it's delivered so well.
+and that violin though!
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+KNEE 1,
+KNEE 5.
+.
+.Ss KANYE WEST \(em YEEZUS (2013)
+ok look I listened to this
+before recent events.
+what the fuck.
+it's a really good album though?
+pretty sure I listened to it
+because bound 2 kept getting in my head,
+because of that minecraft parody parody
+wayne did ages ago.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+BLACK SKINHEAD,
+HOLD MY LIQUOR,
+BLOOD ON THE LEAVES,
+BOUND 2.
+.
+.Ss FLYING RACCOON SUIT \(em AFTERGLOW (2021)
+I've listened to the whole album
+a few times
+but I'm mostly just here
+for the title track.
+this also happened to be
+dropped in IRC at just the right time.
+good ska-punk-type shit.
+and I like lisps ok.
+.Pp
+favourite track:
+AFTERGLOW.
+.
+.Ss RAMSHACKLE GLORY \(em LIVE THE DREAM (2011)
+one of those albums
+I don't know why I took so long
+to get to.
+I've been listening to johnny hobo
+since I was like in high school.
+ramshackle is a little more hopeful
+and I love that.
+your heart is a muscle the size of your fist.
+keep on loving.
+keep on fighting.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+WE ARE ALL COMPOST IN TRAINING,
+NEVER COMING HOME,
+YOUR HEART IS A MUSCLE THE SIZE OF YOUR FIST.
+.
+.Ss LES RALLIZES D\('ENUD\('ES \(em THE OZ TAPES (2022)
+a pleasant surprise in someone's playlist.
+lately I've been listening to this
+in the metro to or from electrolysis.
+it's good listening for that.
+bold to have two versions
+of the same 24-minute song
+on the same release.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+A SHADOW ON OUR JOY,
+THE LAST ONE_1970 (ver.2).
+.
+.Ss LINGUA IGNOTA \(em SINNER GET READY (2021)
+another I'm only getting into
+after hearing it live.
+just last sunday actually.
+was a good show.
+people will go wild
+to hear a cover live for real.
+.Pp
+favourite tracks:
+I WHO BEND THE TALL GRASSES,
+PENNSYLVANIA FURNACE,
+PERPETUAL FLAME OF CENTRALIA.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.Pp
+I started writing this
+before I saw LINGUA IGNOTA.
+good thing I waited.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..445e04c3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/042-comfort-music.7
@@ -0,0 +1,62 @@
+.Dd February 23, 2024
+.Dt COMFORT-MUSIC 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm comfort music
+.Nd feel better
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+it's been a while.
+and I'm on almost no sleep
+and haven't eaten a real meal
+since noon.
+which is a state I've written
+at least a couple posts in before,
+so what better time
+to return to what has apparently
+become this blog's format:
+lists of some music I like.
+.
+.Pp
+this is a list of music that comforts me.
+.
+.Bl -bullet
+.It
+knee play 5, from einstein on the beach.
+I like the organ and the counting and the cadence of the story.
+.It
+low \(em words.
+and I'm tired.
+.It
+godspeed you! black emperor \(em storm.
+this is like my original comfort music.
+been listening to it since I was teenage.
+the grooves are worn deep in my mind.
+.It
+set fire to flames \(em love song for 15 ontario (w/ singing police car).
+I like how it ends.
+.It
+va, from the beginner's guide.
+I think that's the whole point.
+though maybe it's too sad
+to be truly comforting.
+.It
+undertale, from undertale.
+what can I say?
+.It
+wrekmeister harmonies \(em covered in blood from invisible wounds.
+I find quite a bit of the album comforting really.
+I'm picking this one because I like the cadence
+of the lyrics.
+.It
+lingua ignota \(em pennsylvania furnace and perpetual flame of centralia.
+these are really my go to in recent times.
+I like waiting for the next line.
+.El
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
+.Pp
+I don't think I've said anything
+very interesting here.
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..957c6289
--- /dev/null
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/043-little-blessings.7
@@ -0,0 +1,78 @@
+.Dd March 24, 2024
+.Dt LITTLE-BLESSINGS 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm little blessings
+.Nd life's
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+today I went out to go around.
+run some errands and do some shopping.
+along the way I was given
+several of life's little blessings.
+.
+.Pp
+while walking on ste-cath
+between berri and complexe desjardins,
+there was a somewhat disheveled man
+walking in the same direction and singing.
+he had a beautiful voice.
+he was singing a sad song in french,
+and he sung it well and enunciated every word.
+.
+.Pp
+in the mcdonald's at complexe desjardins,
+while waiting for my order,
+there were what appeared to be
+a teenager and her younger brother,
+who must have been
+looking at the display of
+current happy meal toys.
+the teenager was playing smash or pass,
+to the amusement of the younger one.
+they got ice cream
+and ate it across the room from me downstairs.
+.
+.Pp
+later,
+taking the 24 home from atwater
+carrying my new vacuum cleaner,
+the bus got lost.
+I think the driver missed the stop
+and tried to compensate
+by turning north onto peel
+and stopping there.
+but then he had to keep going up peel.
+he turned right onto docteur-penfield,
+which just brings you further up the mountain.
+when it met des pins,
+he turned left and pulled over,
+asking for guidance over the radio.
+we got moving again,
+back towards peel.
+that's how I ended up
+on a 24
+.Dq sherbrooke
+east,
+facing west on des pins.
+it was actually quite scenic.
+and amusing.
+I was in no rush.
+.
+.Pp
+after getting back onto sherbrooke,
+the bus had to take another detour,
+this one planned.
+so my ride on the 24,
+which normally only drives on sherbrooke,
+ended up going on peel,
+docteur-penfield,
+des pins,
+de bleury,
+ren\('e-l\('evesque
+and saint-laurent.
+it was a very exciting bus trip.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.An june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
index 7f339d77..a8683a20 100644
--- a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
@@ -32,13 +32,29 @@ TXTS += 029-topics.txt
 TXTS += 030-discs.txt
 TXTS += 031-books-2021.txt
 TXTS += 032-albums-2021.txt
+TXTS += 033-jorts.txt
+TXTS += 034-voices.txt
+TXTS += 035-addendum-2021.txt
+TXTS += 036-compassion.txt
+TXTS += 037-care.txt
+TXTS += 038-agency.txt
+TXTS += 039-apologies.txt
+TXTS += 040-sound-memory.txt
+TXTS += 041-albums-2022.txt
+TXTS += 042-comfort-music.txt
+TXTS += 043-little-blessings.txt
 
 all: colb ${TXTS}
 
-.SUFFIXES: .7 .txt
+.SUFFIXES: .7 .fmt .txt
 
 .7.txt:
 	mandoc -T utf8 $< | ./colb > $@
+	touch -m -r $< $@
+
+.fmt.txt:
+	fmt $< | sed '1,/^$$/d' > $@
+	touch -m -r $< $@
 
 feed.atom: feed.sh colb ${TXTS}
 	sh feed.sh > feed.atom
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh b/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh
index 668046ef..71bbf662 100644
--- a/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/feed.sh
@@ -27,6 +27,7 @@ set -- *.txt
 shift $(( $# - 20 ))
 for txt; do
 	entry="${txt%.txt}.7"
+	test -f "$entry" || entry="${txt%.txt}.fmt"
 	date=$(grep '^[.]Dd' "$entry" | cut -c 5-)
 	title=$(grep -m 1 '^[.]Nm' "$entry" | cut -c 5- | encode)
 	summary=$(grep '^[.]Nd' "$entry" | cut -c 5- | encode)