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diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/045-time-2025.7 b/www/text.causal.agency/045-time-2025.7
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+.Dd August 18, 2025
+.Dt TIME-2025 7
+.Os "Causal Agency"
+.
+.Sh NAME
+.Nm time
+.Nd 2025
+.
+.Sh DESCRIPTION
+time has passed.
+this blog still exists.
+I don't feel bad about not writing.
+I haven't had anything I want to say in this form.
+.
+.Pp
+I go back and read my own posts here fairly often.
+most recently I looked up how I calculated
+.Dq unique lines of code
+all the way back in 2018.
+I read my own post on apologies a lot.
+I'm glad I wrote that down.
+.
+.Pp
+other people, too,
+still refer to my old posts.
+.Dq operating systems
+has been repeatedly referenced
+by a friend for years.
+I still occasionally get emails in reply to
+.Dq inability .
+I try to wish those people well.
+recently I got asked about
+.Dq names .
+it was interesting trying to explain
+an idea I was playing with four years ago.
+.
+.Pp
+some time in the last year
+I had started writing
+a semi-ficticious history of my life.
+I never finished it
+and I don't think I'm interested in the idea anymore.
+.
+.Pp
+I used to write posts about
+books I'd read
+or albums I'd listened to
+in the year.
+since 2022 I haven't really listened to new music.
+I put a lot of songs I really like
+in a big playlist called
+.Dq more tunes
+and I put that on shuffle
+whenever I want music.
+I don't know why
+music doesn't play the same role
+in my life anymore.
+.
+.Pp
+I've read books since 2021,
+though not at a very high rate.
+I still love Becky Chambers
+and Alix E. Harrow.
+I still need to finish
+the Andrea Stewart trilogy I started.
+I read an old collection
+of short erotic fiction
+by trans authors.
+that was really good.
+I just finished a novel draft by a friend.
+.
+.Pp
+I've shot a lot more film
+since my last post.
+I was wrong about a lot.
+I don't feel like writing more about it.
+.
+.Pp
+in october of 2022
+I started a relationship
+that lasted two years.
+we moved in together in 2023.
+by early 2024 things were going badly.
+in february I posted
+.Dq comfort music .
+I think someone emailed me
+because they didn't think I was doing well.
+I wasn't.
+from summer 2024
+to summer 2025
+was the worst year I've had.
+in october someone I barely knew at the time
+messaged me to ask if I was ok.
+I think I was sitting in a tim hortons
+after getting a blood test.
+I felt bad all the time
+and I didn't know what to do.
+.
+.Pp
+we broke up 2 weeks after 2 years together.
+everything got worse.
+it wasn't a clean breakup.
+I was still clinging onto
+the familiar pieces of the relationship
+that had used to make me happy.
+they didn't anymore.
+it was torture.
+I lived in agony for months.
+I think I lost my mind a little,
+trying to handle things I couldn't.
+.
+.Pp
+in march I went no-contact.
+I started going to therapy.
+I went on a weekend trip to ottawa by myself.
+I looked at art in the national gallery.
+I started trying to become myself again.
+.
+.Pp
+in june I invited people out
+for my 30th birthday.
+I was terrified,
+convinced up until the last second
+that no one was going to come.
+but they did.
+and since then I've been doing better.
+I think I've picked up where I left off,
+at some point in the last few years.
+.
+.Sh AUTHORS
+.Nm june Aq Mt june@causal.agency
diff --git a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
index 6b1bd02f..c9e86ab2 100644
--- a/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
+++ b/www/text.causal.agency/Makefile
@@ -44,6 +44,7 @@ TXTS += 041-albums-2022.txt
 TXTS += 042-comfort-music.txt
 TXTS += 043-little-blessings.txt
 TXTS += 044-film-review.txt
+TXTS += 045-time-2025.txt
 
 all: colb ${TXTS}